You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
