I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
