he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
