You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
