You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize