How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
