no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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