Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
