it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
