I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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