Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
