i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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