So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Only a mothe r could love this liver
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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