stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
