the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
