The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
