I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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