You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize