yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
