I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm always down for nudity.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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