Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
