At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
