Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Boobs speak an international language.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
