Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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