dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
