hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
