and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
