Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
