So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i think i have two assholes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize