At least make sure they are 18
Why
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize