I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
