You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
