We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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