Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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