Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
