i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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