I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize