let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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