I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
