I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Its about making memories worth repressing
smell my finger.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
