Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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