I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
