either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
