In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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