I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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