I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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