Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
