dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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