What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
