I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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