You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
