He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
