Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
