I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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