Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We left the knife in your bed.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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