just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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