I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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