you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
