every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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