You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
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